7 STAGES OF GRIEF EXPLAINED
1. SHOCK & DENIAL - The initial stage or first stage is going to be shock or denial. Learning of a loss can cause a numbed disbelief. Most people find it easier to deal with by denying the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed by the reality all at once. This stage can actually last for weeks sometimes grief can last as long as 2 years.
2. PAIN & GUILT - As the shock starts to wear off , it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although it can feel unbearable, it is important that you do experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoidance or escape from this can sometime be covered with alcohol or drugs. You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.
3. ANGER – Stage 3 normally starts with frustration which gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion. You may wish to consult a good councillor that is trained in helping people deal with their emotions. You may start questioning "Why me?" you may also seek answers from church's or higher powers for a way out of your despair.
4. DEPRESSION , REFLECTION & LONELINESS – This is a normal stage of grief, and its OK to reflect and feel sad. During this time you will realise your loss has actually happened and start to accept it by isolating yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness and despair.
5. THE UPWARD POSITIVE TURN – Once you start to adjust to life without your dear one, things will become calmer and more organised. Physical symptoms subside, but depression may begin to lift a little.
6. RECONSTRUCTION – Stage 6 you should start to be more functional, your mind will start working to seek realistic solutions to problems posed by life alone. You will start to deal with financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life.
7. FINAL STAGE ACCEPTANCE AND HOPE FOR THE FUTURE – During this last stage you will learn to accept and deal with the reality and the situation you find yourself in. Acceptance does not mean instance happiness but you will find a way forward with hope.
Always seek professional advise your GP surgery is always a good place to start. They can give you advice about other support services, refer you to a counsellor if appropriate and prescribe medication, if needed. Your GP also has contact details for support groups in your area.
Alternatively, you can contact support organisations directly, such as Cruse Bereavement Care (0844 477 9400) or the Samaritans (0845 790 9090).
If you are having trouble sleeping or feeling over tired from emotional strain see your GP
Eat a healthy diet
Avoid things like Alcohol that numb the pain.
Go seek counselling if it feels right for you
Talk to someone if you feel lonely example friends, family or the Samaritans.